I swear to God, if that little shit of a balance board insinuates that I'm fat or uncoordinated one more time, I'm going to throw the damn thing out the window. I mean, for Chrissakes, I put on 200 grams and the bloody thing more or less calls me Jabba the Hutt. Never mind the fact that my BMI is still in the 'ideal' range - apparently, 'ideal' isn't good enough. So far as Mr. Balance Board is concerned, you're either a perfect specimen of virile athleticism, or you're a fat retard. There is no middle ground.
Now, the trainers - they're fine. They tell you when you're doing poorly, sure, but they also compliment you when you do something well. With the balance board, it's just constant sneering abuse. It's like training with a Russian gymnastics coach or something.
You know what I'm gonna do now? I'm gonna go eat some cheesecake. For spite. |
I have a couple of things to share with you! “How generous,” you remark, correctly. You may have seen them already if you read all the videogame websites like a common slut, in which case, you need a damn good spanking, don’t you? Yes, yes you have been a naughty girl.
 Vinnk over at 4 Color Rebellion recently completed a two-month Wii Fit bodybuilding regimen, so that he would look good shirtless at his wedding. And what do you know, it seems to have worked! Which is odd because didn’t Nintendo say that it doesn’t work? Well whatever, Nintendo! Your product totally works; in your face! Anyhose, you can read Vinnk’s saga in its not-quite-entirety here, and the final entry – the payoff, as it were – here.
Really it’s just an excuse for Vinnk to exhibit himself, and I can guarantee that were it not for editorial restraints, ninety percent of the posts on 4 Color Rebellion would be snapshots of Vinnk’s erect penis.
 James “Harvey James” Harvey, with the assistance of the Gamer’s Quarter Rainbow Dream Team, has pieced together this rather perceptive analysis of the ‘character design’ of GlaDOS, the mad computer from oh as if you need to be told. There’s not much I can say about it that the article itself doesn’t say better, so go, read and enjoy! There are pictures!
That’s all I have. Away from me, you jackals! |
