To paraphrase the Random Press Release Generator that exists in my imagination, Short Reviews are
bite-sized morsels of delicious critical content that challenge the tyrannical verbosity of traditional games journalism and redefine consumer expectations of the internet as a medium for cultural analysis.
Whereas our Short Reviews are like hors d'oeuvres served on a fancy plate by an attractive person wearing a waistcoat, our Long Reviews are like an entire meal served on an even fancier plate by a supermodel wearing a waistcoat and a bowtie.