Inspired by EA's ambitious effort to turn Dante's Inferno into an "epic action game," raezr – the outrageous smartypants responsible for the original version of our love letter to GameDaiy's Chris Buffa – has kickstarted an hilarious forum thread dedicated to remastering classic literature into videogame form. Choice cuts include:

Shakespeare's Hamlet adapted into a survival horror puzzle game. Something is indeed rotten in Denmark, the ghost of Hamlet's father has returned from the afterlife with a terrifying vengeance. Find all the skulls that can finally put the specter to rest forever. This summer will you be, or not be? It's Resident Evil meets House of the Dead, IN DENMARK.

***
Blake's The Tyger adapted into a fighting game. Do you have what it takes to beat the flaming feline in hand to hand combat? Execute combos with poetic accuracy and conquer the forest of the night. It's Street Fighter meets Bloody Roar, IN THE FOREST.

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Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 adapted into a first person shooter. Read and play along with the story of Montag as he roots out the evils of literature and unlocks 48 amazing weapons and abilities for setting fire to books and people. Revel in the incredible writing delivered as 10 chapters of embellished text set against the backdrop of a painterly dystopia. But watch out for the twist ending where Montag discovers that it is not books that are evil, but the people who burn them – and you for playing a game about burning books. If only you could go back and warn yourself what you were getting into. It's Bioshock meets Braid, IN A DREAM OF WHAT MIGHT BE IF WE ACHIEVED WHAT WE SHOULD NOT DREAM!

If enough people get involved, I reckon we could eventually turn this thread into a proper feature. So, keeping that in mind, how about you head on over to the thread in question and post something? You're smart, right? You've read books? Well, there you go! Hell, you don't even have to write anything – you just can just draw pictures if you want. Or make a movie! Man, a movie would be so awesome. Someone should make us a movie. Doesn't have to be about videogame versions of classic literature necessarily. I just want to watch a movie.

THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO SEND ME PORN.

ON A RELATED NOTE: The press release for Dante's Inferno starts with the famous quote, "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate" – or, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." Sounds about right to me.

(The following is a rewrite of an article originally posted by raezr in the forums. If you want to read the original version, or thank raezr for his excellent work, click here.)

GameDaily is one of those dime-a-dozen gaming sites that I've always just ignored. But for whatever reason – boredom, masochism – I was browsing it today and discovered (much to my surprise) that senior editor Chris Buffa is actually the world’s foremost critic of sloppy games journalism. For almost three years, Chris has been busily penning scathing editorials such as:

Why Videogame Journalism Sucks

How to Fix Videogame Journalism

How to Become a Better Videogame Journalist

Clearly, this is a man on a mission. While other games journalists have been wanking themselves silly over the latest Halo game or whatever, Chris has been in the trenches, producing the very articles that will one day restore integrity and honour to the games press. Let’s take a look at some now.

The first one to really catch my eye is about CGI elf girls. You see, unlike the snivelling toadies at Gamespot or IGN, Chris Buffa isn’t about to let the man stop him from telling us the facts, especially when the facts are about hot elven bitches. I don’t know about you, but until I read Chris’ feature, I had no idea that the protagonist from Kameo was so totally bangable. Those other game journalists certainly weren’t saying anything about it.

But it isn’t just slutty computer elves that command Chris’ journalistic interest. It turns out he's fond of real girls too. In "Babes Playing Games", our fearless reporter examines a number of videogame ads featuring women, and explains in lurid detail what he finds attractive about each. Does it bother him that most of the women in question aren’t even trying to look sexy? No sir! As a connoisseur of the female form, Chris has no trouble unearthing the buried hotness in each photograph. Indeed, even age is no barrier to his keen sexual senses.

Fortunately, it seems Buffa’s enthusiasm for producing intelligent games journalism has infected the entire GameDaily staff. Here are just a few of our favourite works:

Hairiest Chests in Gaming
Top 25 Ways to Die in 2008
Top 10 Buffest Videogame Dudes
Weirdest Hairstyles in Gaming

And last but definitely not least, Babes We'll Wait For – another Buffa masterpiece in which he lists his favourite “not-quite-legal cuties in videogames”. Like this one, for example:

Truly, ladies and gentlemen, this is the future of games journalism.

Well, here I am again, back on the ol' internet grindstone. Mmmyep: I've had my vacation, so now it's back down to the ol' cyber mines, slavin' away day after day for nothin' more than a bowl-a-beans and a whippin' come sundown.

Sigh.

As you can probably tell, I'm not especially excited to be here, doing this thing. It's not I don't love you, or Eegra for that matter, it's just that I'd rather be out dropping phat beats or breakdancing with my homies and bitches. You know how it is. Gimme a week or two and I'll be back to my usual happy-go-lucky self.

I hope.

Oh, speaking of happy-go-lucky, I've got a new comic for you. It's by forum person Gina, and despite that terrible segue in the previous sentence, is really quite good. It is called:

CLICK HERE FOR HILARITY.

You guys remember Hue, right? He's the protagonist from Second Best Shindig Game of 2008, Spectrum Spelunker. And just while we're on the topic of SS (now that's a segue), did you know that the developers – Battle Studio – have released a new version that you can download and play RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND? Well, they did. It actually came out, like, a month or two ago, and I just totally forgot to talk about it even though I promised I would. Oh well! Doesn't matter: now you know, so you can just go ahead get it at your convenience. (Here's a list of changes and fixes, if you're interested.)

Incidentally, if you like Gina's artwork and would like to see more of it, here is her deviantART page. That's how it works around here, you see. Tit for tat and all that. So if you have a DA page and would like more people to see it, well ... you know what to do, don't you?

This.

(Thanks, Hempuli!)

A picture of a woman has appeared on a videogame blog! And — and — she's wearing Nintendo clothes! Naturally, you are required to drop whatever you're doing and rate her appearance on a scale of 1-10, taking special care to note whether or not you would take time out of your busy schedule to have sex with her. Because god knows you guys sure do fuck a lot of bitches. And with all that tank-driving and mountain-climbing you do, you certainly don't have the time to bang 'em all, right?

RIGHT?

Ugh. Anyway, here's something delicious:

They are cupcakes! Specifically, they are EEGRA cupcakes, made and photographed by neato person Tracey. Since that picture's a bit blurry, here's another one:

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

I could be mistaken, but I think this is our very first fan-food! If that isn't some sort of milestone, then I dunno what is. Thank you, Tracey!

In other news, I've finally got the Downloads section up and going. In addition to the nine Shindig entries, there's also a neat little indie game called FIG there, which you might enjoy. Eventually, we hope to have a whole selection of cool indie games available for download, as well as some other things too, so there you go. Exciting stuff, I guess!

Also: is this some kind of joke? I mean, why even bother.

Hello! I have a new bit of Reader Radness for you - specifically, a new column for our long-neglected Trouserful of Melody section by forum celebrity and all-round cool dude, Gatas Brilhantes. Patch and I like this column so much that we've decided to let Mr. Brilhantes update the Trousers whenever he wants, FREE OF CHARGE. So, yes, expect more excellence of this sort in the near future ... if you dare!

In other news: GODDAMN IT.

About a month ago, I received an email from a reader named Alan Peck that went something like this:

Hi Dan! I make t-shirts, and would like to send you one! Is that okay? Hugs and kisses, Alan

 
Not being one to turn down free clothing from mysterious internet strangers, I of course replied:

Dear Alan, Yes, please send me a t-shirt. Also, pants, if you have any. Smooches, Dan

And then, just the other day, I received THIS in the post:

In case you're ignorant of excellent videogames, it's Solid Snake (or Big Boss, if you want to be pedantic about it) from Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops. So that's pretty RAD. Thanks, Alan!

Speaking of RAD t-shirts, we're going to start selling some of our own real soon. Wanna know what they look like? Well, here's a picture:

CHECK IT OUUUTTTT.

If everything goes to plan, you'll be able to buy these from our store tomorrow. They'll be $30 for one and $80 for three. All prices are in Australian funbucks, and include postage.  Alternatively, if you're in Australia and attending Supanova Sydney this month, you can buy them from us direct for a little bit less. (We'll be selling other stuff at Supanova aside from shirts, but we'll talk about that a bit later.)

Anyway, DINNER TIME.

That Kratos! Always carrying on!

"GRRR, RARRRGH, I WILL KILL ALL THE GODS!"

"How about a sliced orange, Kratos dear?"

"NO NOT SLICED I DON'T LIKE TO EAT IT THAT WAY, GRARRRGH!"

"Well why don't I make us a nice cup of tea."

"YOU CANNOT APPEASE ME WITH HOT BEVERAGES; I WILL HAVE VENGEANCE!"

Anyway, here is a review of last year's God of War II, written by forum member Valdez_Leel.

After much procrastination, we've finally decided it's time to introduce a regular Reader Radness feature, where YOU, our beloved and attractive audience, can submit content for us to publish on the site – for free! At Something Awful, you'd have to pay ten dollars for the privilege of doing our job for us, but here at Eegra, we care enough to profit from your labour without charge. Because we love you.

Anyway, if you'd like to submit something to us – anything at all – then head on over to the forums and post it up. Of course, there's no way in hell that we're going to publish everything that comes our way, but if it's good and interesting, then we'll certainly try.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, this instalment of Reader Radness is a long(ish) review of Mount and Blade by forum regular and all-round swell fellow, Farvana. Thanks, Farvana! If I ever meet you in person (which I never will), I will be sure to shake your hand and perhaps buy you a beverage, such is my appreciation for your contribution to our site.