Serenia Still

Remember how in the last instalment of Eegra.com’s exclusive guide to King’s Quest V, we – as the distinguished and proud King Graham of Daventree – rummaged through somebody’s garbage for a dead fish? Well guess what?

Now we get to use it! Head west from the random murder pub, and you’ll encounter the scene depicted above: an angry bear stealing honey from terrified bees. Graham, whose cousin is a bee, is outraged. “Hey, fuck off ya cunt!” he yells. Make Graham take the fish out of his pants and throw it at the bear.

Taking the bait, the bear grabs the fish and lumbers away, leaving the bees in peace. Queen Beatrice comes out to personally thank Graham for his intervention. “Why sah,” she purrs seductively, “Thaynk you so very murch for saving our home from that ahwful bear! Please allow me to thaynk you with a dahllop of my special huhhney. All you hayve to do is reach into my hahive and take it.” Try to ignore Cedric's ribald hooting as you do so.

With that done, go one screen to the north. Oh no! It’s a dog attacking an ant’s nest! Graham, whose mother is an ant, is outraged. “Hey, fuck off ya cunt!” he yells. Make Graham take out the knife and stab the dog repeatedly. Ha! I’m just kidding. No, what you have to do is throw a stick at the dog. The stick is at the beehive. I probably should’ve told you about it while you were there, but you know. Anyway, go back and get the stick. Now throw at it at the dog.

The dog chases the stick and – since it never returns – presumably falls into a river and drowns. King Antony of the Ants, who you might recognise from his guest spot in our Hilarity Comics, comes out to offer his personal thanks, making it the second time in five minutes that Graham (who is apparently the Jesus of bugs) has been praised as a saviour by insect royalty. But as you’d expect from a man of his pedigree, he takes it all in his stride.

“You fucken ants owe me,” he says with a slight blush.
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