DONE BY: Romkids

IT’S FOR: Super Nintendo (ROM)

YEAR: 1993

Consisting of three simple mini-games, each an explicit simulation of sexual intercourse, Rape Games seeks to combine the thrill-a-minute fun of WarioWare with the grim pleasures of Soviet pornography. But whereas Soviet porn generally features lots of actual rape, Rape Games – despite its suggestive moniker – has none. The sex depicted is depraved, but even in the event that it ends with one partner chopping the other partner’s head in half with a meat cleaver, the implication is that it’s always consensual. As a consequence, those of you hankering for an experience comparable to the popular Rape Squad: Rocket series of hentai games will be sorely disappointed.

Sadly, the complete lack of rape isn’t the only way in which Rape Games fails to compete with the established giants of the genre. Although developer Romkids has done an admirable job of translating the dynamics of cunnilingus, fellatio, and anal sex into workable play mechanics, the game’s juvenile aesthetic undermines the authenticity of the experience as a whole, leaving one frustrated and – ultimately – unfulfilled. For example, the first mini-game, which tasks the player with whipping a man while he has anal sex with another man, is punctuated with sound effects so corny and distracting that even the most avid fan of homosexual threesomes would struggle to maintain arousal. Similarly, the cunnilingus game that follows is also marred by absurd audio, with the moment of orgasm irrevocably ruined by what sounds like an ogre vomiting.

Another disappointing aspect of Rape Games is its length. Clocking in at just over 3 minutes, the game is barely long enough for one to obtain an erection, let alone massage it to climax. Given that most instalments in the aforementioned Rape Squad: Rocket series offer at least 100 hours of solid gameplay, this is completely unacceptable. Of course, as tactical turn-based RPGs, the RSR games are naturally inclined to longevity, but that doesn’t excuse Romkids from failing to include at least a few more sex challenges. It's simply a matter of wasted potential. In the hands of a dedicated developer like Bioware or Nintendo, Rape Games could’ve gone for 15 hours or more, and included multiple branching storylines and a fully functional physics engine. But Romkids, it seems, was content to take it the lazy way. What a shame.

That said, it should be noted that Rape Games is not by any means the worst violent-sex simulator available for the Super Nintendo – as always, that dubious title belongs to Super Cunt Punch 3000. But still, there is very little reason to give it a go, especially when there are so many superior examples of the genre already available.  

Graphics: 42.53
Sound: 22.7
Gameplay: 61.689
Longevity: 12
Originality: 89.553
Realism: 8.6
Arousal:  7.44
Reviewer’s Tilt (Left): 100
Reviewer’s Tilt (Right): 0
Overall: 38.279 (Poor/Mediocre)