This is hilarious, and deserves more attention than it's likely to get in the dingy internet backwater that is POE News. Here is a quote:

If you are bald like me, you can just forget about tricking people into thinking you're not. Consider hats. Regard them. Generally speaking, hats are great for bald people, because we have a "natural weakness" to "fire damage" from the sun. But don't ever wear a hat to hide the fact you are bald. Eventually you are going to have to take it off, and then everyone will think, "Oh, he's bald. Well, I guess I will start ignoring everything he says or does. I will also stop having sex with him, if that is what I am doing right now."

For more handy fashion tips like these, please consult the half-naked teenagers in our banner ads, or at American Apparel.com!