You’re Not My Real Big Daddy
a Bioshock fanfic by Patrick Alexander,
who has never played Bioshock

Hey little sister, what have you done?
Hey little sister, who's the only one?
Hey little sister, who's your superman?
Hey little sister, who's the one you want?
Hey little sister, shotgun!

It's a nice day to start again.

– Billy Idol, ‘Hey Little Sister’

* * *

Violently, I found myself pointing the syringe-gun at the Little Sister. I called it my ‘shotgun’, because in America (where I am from, but in the future) when you have a needle it’s called getting a shot.

The Little Sister cried at me with her big, round eyes. She looked like an innocent little girl, but I knew that appearances were deceiving in this underwater Hell... or did I? I struggled inwardly with my emotions. Part of me was horrified at myself, but the other part (that the first part was horrified at) had become hardened and emotionless to the cold acts I was enacting.

Back in future America – it seems like a dream, now – I was a research scientist. One day I discovered Atlantis, but I kept it a secret. I hired a submarine and visited the secret underwater city. Little did I know that the fair people of Atlantis had been enslaved and mutated by an evil alien warlord called Bioshock.

Bioshock’s soldiers enslaved me too, and genetically altered me so that I grew gills. They turned me into a monster... and not just on the outside.

They made me a monster on the inside too.

“Don’t shoot me!” said the Little Sister. But was she lying?

“I must,” I said, eyeing her narrowly. “I need to extract Adam from inside you.”

Adam was my best friend – hell, my only friend – in this twisted metropolis. He was a scuba diver who had found Atlantis accidentally, and been trapped here, just like me. The Little Sister had swam out from behind a fire hydrant, spread her mutated jaws as wide as a manhole, and swallowed him whole.

I heard Adam’s muffled voice from inside the Little Sister. “Let me out of here!” He sounded terrified. It wouldn’t be long before the digestive acids killed him.

My shotgun was a giant syringe that would suck Adam right out of the Little Sister’s stomach, but it would kill her in the process. I began to squeeze the trigger...

“Stop!” boomed a voice. Stomping towards us was one of Bioshock’s giant, cyborg soldiers – a Big Daddy. He looked angry – almost as angry as I was.

“Frig you!” I yelled, and pulled out my shotgun, which this time was an actual shotgun.

“Stop!” the Big Daddy repeated. “I’m not like the others – I am a good Big Daddy. Please listen to me.”

“Okay,” I said.

“This Little Sister is innocent,” explained the Big Daddy. “She needs to eat humans to survive. Don’t kill her.”

“But I have to save my friend!” I cried, emotionally.

“Who are you to decide who lives and who dies?” asked the Big Daddy. Suddenly he turned into the biggest Oreo in the world. He looked so delicious that I ate him.

“Now I understand,” I choked, tears in my eyes. “Now I understand.”

THE END