PRO TIPS

Avoid Gangbangs: Everybody loves to ride the man-train, but in this case, the only thing at the end of the line is DEATH. So! Whenever you’re arsefucking someone, ALWAYS ensure that you aren’t being fucked in the arse by someone else. Always. It sounds obvious, I know, but you’d be surprised at how easy it is to forget. When you’re savagely fucking an arse into oblivion, the LAST thing you want to think about is being fucked yourself. Trust me on this.

Learn to Dribble: ‘Dribbling’ refers to a technique whereby you repeatedly bounce an enemy’s arse upon your dick – kind of like you’re dribbling a basketball. Mastering this skill allows you to quickly fuck an arse to death without having to chase it around, which of course makes it easier for you to avoid the attention of other cocks in the area. It can be tricky to master, but it’s absolutely essential later on. So learn!

Good Vibrations: The battery power-up is not only great for ravaging foes, but it’s also super for scoring quick and easy hitpoints! Just vibrate your way to the nearest Magic Blue Arse, whack your cock in there, then watch as your hit points climb. But – BUT! – remember that you can still be fucked even while you’re regenerating, so watch dat azz! If possible, plug it with a dildo or two for extra protection.       

Discover What the Blue Circle Does: Then tell me, because I’d really like to know.

 FINAL WORD