Long Review: Far Cry 2
 
By Dan Staines on: 04/11/08 09:24:28 PM

Conversation over, I exit the shack and jump into Michelle's jeep, figuring now's probably a good time to exchange speed for safety. However, about halfway down the treacherous climb back to sea-level, I decide that safety can go fuck itself and drive right off the edge of a nearby cliff.

Turns out that wasn't a great idea.

In a moment right out of Indiana Jones or Jewel of the Nile, my vehicle barrels down the slope at breakneck speed, furiously weaving between boulders and trees before finally coming to an abrupt halt courtesy of a giant stump. Black smoke billows from under the hood, and I realise I have to get out and do some repairs. It's a chore, but on the plus side, the cars around here are remarkably easy to fix. In fact, there hasn't been a single mechanical problem I couldn't solve with a few twists of my socket wrench. (It must be one of those multi-purpose dealies they sell on late night TV.)

Back in the driver's seat and the jeep purrs back to life with reassuring vigour. Okay, so, where am I? Oh wait. I know where I am. All I have to do is follow those railroad lines east and they'll take me straight to the oil depot. Righto then. But before I do that, there's the matter of the blinking green light on my GPS.

A blinking green light means there're diamonds nearby. See, what happened is, this big plane full of diamonds blew up the other day, and the diamonds went all over the place, and now it's my job to go find them. My GPS, for reasons I don't entirely understand, knows where they are and issues the aforementioned alert whenever I'm within their vicinity. It's pretty easy money, all things considered.

After a brief search, I pull over next to the blackened wreckage of what looks like a tourist bus and peer inside. Ah-ha. There it is. Up on the back seat – three diamonds in a black briefcase. Score! Loot in hand, I scramble toward the front of the bus, and back to my...

Huh.

Why did my jeep just explode?

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Tags:   long review   Far Cry 2   Africa   cockwits   guns go bang
 
 
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