Japan is where videogames come from! Also these ads.

1.

A picture of a woman holding a hamburger ought to be totally innocuous, but this one gets under my skin somehow, like a silent, wriggling parasite. Apart from the fact that she appears to be not an ordinary woman but a woman-mannequin hybrid, and apart from her weird, perfect symmetry, there’s the problem of her smile. Goddamn, she is so happy to be holding that hamburger. And not because she wants to eat it! – but because she wants to hold it. This is the serene yet empty smile of a brainwashed cult member who has achieved what she believes to be her purpose in life.

This image is the exact antithesis of the Mona Lisa.

2.

This, would you believe, is an ad for the inconspicuous piece of furniture you can see in the photograph. But what I see – and I think what anyone would see – is a picture of a man who has just been placed in a jail cell. From his expression, he seems untroubled – almost smug – about his situation, which makes him creepy, in the manner of someone who cuts his victims into small chunks, and keeps those chunks in his collection of expensive china teapots.

3.

This is that sort of pose that is very common in advertising, but you’d never see in real life because it looks as though she is possessed by conflicting personalities, and is about to tear off her dress and rape herself.

What, you don’t see it?