On the one hand, deviantART is a free, easy-to-use resource allowing artists to share their creations with the world. On the other hand, deviantART is a free, easy-to-use resource allowing anyone to share their creations with the world – any drooling imbecile possessing (a) a pirated copy of Photoshop, and (b) Naruto-related mental retardation.
It can’t be all bad, of course: Around 60,000 ‘deviations’ are uploaded to the site each day, and even being as pessimistic as possible, that’s at least a couple of hundred artworks ranging from half-decent to completely gorgeous. Ultimately, deviantART is what you make of it. Unfortunately, what most deviantART users have made of it is a steaming heap of shit, big enough to smother a sperm whale.
SO ANYWAY, the concept of this feature is, we visit deviantART and type in the name of a videogame character, then share with you our discoveries – the good, the bad and the OH CHRIST MY EYES!!
This week, the gaze of the Magnificent All-Seeing Eye falls upon that most wide-eyed and vacuous of videogame bimbos, Princess Peach.
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Super Princess Peach Team by sergevirusx
I’m opening with a half-decent one, to prove that this is a serious project, not just an excuse to make fun of shitty fan artists, which would of course be MEAN and make me a MEANIE.
So, as you can see: Not too shabby, although, not very interesting either. The linework is ugly and lacks confidence, which is especially bad for an image clearly intended to be quite dynamic. Also, look at Peach’s dress – the artist has no idea what a real dress would do if the wearer raised her leg like that, so he’s messed it up badly. Ignore that bit and it’s not a bad pic... except the framing is very bland and Mario’s arms look kind of wonky, don’t you think?
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Halloween 2006 – Witch Peach by SigurdHosenfeld
Something you’ll notice about Princess Peach fanart is that everyone gets her hair exactly right. The reason for that, perhaps, is that if you remove her dress (as many fanartists do), Peach’s hairstyle is the only thing that identifies her. Take the above picture, for example: Rumple her hair a bit, and Princess Peach vanishes, transforming into Generic Sexy Witch! Watch the pageviews disappear! Ha ha, it’s MAGIC!
Incidentally, this Sigurd Hosenfeld fellow is a bit of a Princess Peach... devotee. He calls himself “Princess Peach’s lover” and, wow – browsing his deviantART gallery, I can only imagine how massively and painfully swollen his nutsack must be. I mean... daaamn.
He draws himself as a blond bishie, usually locked in ‘passionate’ (read: vacant) embrace with the Princess. And in fact, RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT, he’s holding a competition for other deviantART users to draw the exact same thing: Sigurd Hosenfeld, as a blond bishie, “in a cute or romantic scene” with Princess Peach. Here’s the link if you’re curious, or... if you want to enter.
Hey man, I ain’t judgin’ nobody.
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