Did you hear? Miyamoto said the new Zelda game is going to be much the same as all the other Zelda games Nintendo has made! Isn't that shocking? I know I'm shocked! skolskopskkpokfdjhofdajpdl[ei – you know what that is? That's me fainting on my keyboard. From shock.

Uh-oh! Look out – here comes another headline:

NEW iD SOFTWARE GAME TO FEATURE "MEN WITH GUNS"

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(On a more serious note: big site-status update coming in just a bit. Stay tuned!)