Did you hear? Miyamoto said the new Zelda game is going to be much the same as all the other Zelda games Nintendo has made! Isn't that shocking? I know I'm shocked! skolskopskkpokfdjhofdajpdl[ei – you know what that is? That's me fainting on my keyboard. From shock.

Uh-oh! Look out – here comes another headline:

NEW iD SOFTWARE GAME TO FEATURE "MEN WITH GUNS"

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(On a more serious note: big site-status update coming in just a bit. Stay tuned!)

Hey, remember this Christmas picture?

Well I'm selling the original. RIGHT HERE. You can buy it with money.

Own this unique piece of internet history while it's still slightly funny!

Welcome to Sunday Sundries: a regular feature in which we try to compensate for our shameful lack of updates with a few links and videos. Tips appreciated!

You, Me & the Cubes
Here’s the trailer for the English language version of Kenji Eno's new game, You, Me & the Cubes. It’s all Eno: game design, art and audio. You can tell this is the same Eno who did art and audio for Newtonica – there’s the same minimalism; even the same red-and-blue colour scheme.

Newtonica aside, You, Me & the Cubes is Kenji Eno's first game in ten years, since D2 in 1999. It's interesting to see the effect of a decade's worth of more 'real world' jobs, and personal and artistic growth.

Dying is Easy, Comedy is Hard
Hit Self-Destruct is a game blog that I like a whole lot – and posts like this one are the reason why. Duncan Fyfe's writing is crisp, concise, and crackles with insight. Videogame bloggers have a tendency to beat their points to death, using several thousand words when a few hundred would suffice. Fyfe does the opposite: even when his posts are long, they're never longer than they need to be. That's because he's a confident writer who trusts in the intelligence of his audience. In that regard, Hit Self-Destruct reminds me distinctly of Magical Wasteland – another blog of which I'm very fond.

Oh, hey, speaking of blogs, here's a special note for Destructoid's Jim Sterling: I saw what you wrote about us, Jim. I saw how you accused Patrick and I of being monocle-popping snoots too removed from our readers to understand what they want. Yes, I know you didn't say that directly, but I can read between the lines, Jim. First you butter us up by saying we're "hilarious" and then you stick in the knife.

Well, that's fine. You go ahead and enjoy those nasty insinuations, Jim. You won't think they're so great when some anonymous internet vigilante sends you a poisonous spider in the post. See how snide you are then.

(On an unrelated note: please email me your home address.)

The Lifecycle of the Mysterious Manjuu
Instead of telling you about all these cool things Derek Yu does on a weekly basis, how about I just link you to his Twitter feed now and cut out the middleman? Sound good? Okay, good.

Speaking of Lifecycles and Dying…
…excellent videogame blog 61 Frames Per Second is shutting down! This is a big shame: 61FPS was an enjoyable blog with a unique voice that deserved more attention than it received. Patrick especially likes it – partly because he admires in John Constantine the beard he can never grow, but mostly because it is (or was) an intelligent and often insightful read. Oh well. On the bright side, the archives are going to remain online, and many of the contributors will continue to write for other outlets, so it's not a total loss. Still sucks, though.

THIS IS JUST IN: Hot on the heels of its decision to sue Double Fine out of petty spite, Activision has announced plans to adopt disgraced former angel Satan as official company mascot and spokesperson. "We feel The Lord of Evil really embodies the core values of our brand," says Activision VP of Lies, Claudia Scumbag.

Welcome to Sunday Sundries: a regular feature in which we try to compensate for our shameful lack of updates with a few links and videos. Tips appreciated!

System and Method for Creating Exalted Videogames
"A video game method and system for creating games where ideas have consequences, incorporating branching paths that correspond to a player's choices, wherein paths correspond to decisions founded upon ideals, resulting in exalted games with deeper soul and story, enhanced characters and meanings, and exalted gameplay." Includes a communist vampire.

Tim Langdell: The EDGE of Insanity?
Derek Yu hates on a slimy self-aggrandising douchebag with a penchant for frivolous lawsuits and bad haircuts. Includes a cartoon ninja.

Ivory Springs
A colourful, classy, but sadly unfinished platformer from Legend of Princess creator Konjak. Includes a giant robot.

MTBig Planet
A cute montage of recent and not-so-recent dance videos rendered in Little Big Planet. Includes a Benny Benassi.

Welcome to Sunday Sundries: a new regular feature in which we try to compensate for our shameful lack of updates with a few links and videos. After all, if we can't satisfy your needs, then the least we can do is point you in the direction of some people who can.

Scirra Construct
Construct is a free utility for creating DirectX 9-based games and applications. I've not tried it myself, but Patrick has and he says that it "seems as easy to use, for non-programmers, as Game Maker claims to be." So there you go: if Patrick likes it, maybe you will too. Or maybe you won't. I don't care either way, to be honest.

Vegavox 2
"Alex Mauer and No Carrier return to a cathode ray television near you with Vegavox 2, featuring more NES graphics and musical goodness. Travel to a remote forest, up a neverending castle, or far into the depths of space and psyche, the choice is yours! It’s only a D-Pad button press away." In other words: chiptunes with authentic NES visuals delivered via ROM or – if you want to spend some money – cartridge. What a wonderful idea!

Oglaf
Apparently illustrated by Trudy Cooper of Platinum Grit fame, Oglaf is a sexy and remarkably clever webcomic chock full of boobs and doodles and other NSFW type stuff. If you're over 18 and don't mind looking at illustrated naughty bits, then you should totally check it out. I think you'll probably like it.

John Pertwee (The Third Doctor) Reviews Dark Forces
I don't give a crap about Doctor Who, but this is just adorable.

This is getting a bit UK:R, but, here are some things sent in by readers!

An Eegra Picture

[bigger, desktop-able version here]

This is yet another contribution to the Eegra mythos from the lovely and talented Rebecca Clements. It seems to be a young Orson, playing Game on his Eegra. If you like Rebecca's drawings, you should know that right now, if you make a PayPal donation to her webcomic, she will email you a PDF booklet... FULL OF DRAWINGS! You won't get that from Amnesty bloody International!

Xbox Steak

Subject: tip - xboxsteak

My friend Jonas bought himself a steak the other day. And to his surprise it was shaped like an xbox-controller.

What do you think?

Photo: Jonas Nord Gusland
--
Best regards,
Andreas

I think that's a pretty miserable-looking steak, Andreas -- it looks like someone threw it in the swimming pool.

Also: Australia??

Eegra Minus Garfield

Of course:

Sent in by reader Konstantin. Um... thanks.

But my friends Tracey and Jeremy have made, and are giving away, TWO glorious Locoroco piñatas. I know calling a piñata "glorious" verges on hyperbole, but I've seen the things in the papier-mâché flesh, and lo, they are like oval-shaped gods. Oval-shaped gods with enormous blowjob mouths.  

What? Don't screw up your face like that. I'm just making an observation. Sharing my perspective. To me, it looks like they're sucking invisible dicks. Maybe it doesn't to you. I dunno. Whatever. The point is that you should go to either Tracey's blog or Jeremy's blog and enter this competition. And then, if you win one, you can do whatever you want with it. And that would be nobody's business but yours.

FULL JOURNALISTIC DISCLOSURE: I know Jeremy and Tracey personally, and are thus unqualified to render a completely objective assessment of their Locoroco piñatas. Please take into account that all views expressed here are purely subjective, and in no way constitute a guarantee that you will enjoy owning a Locoroco piñata. Also, I'm not responsible if you read their blogs and don't like them. (You will like them. I'm just saying.)

...Starring this little guy:

Aw jeepers he looks sad. What's wrong buddy?

FIND OUT INSIDE

IT'S A FRIGGIN' EXPOSÉ

Long maligned for turning healthy children into fat psychopaths, videogames are at last contributing something positive to society by leading the fight against Alzheimer's Disease.

Working at the Mayo Clinic in Florida, researchers have discovered that an insulin-degrading enzyme nicknamed "Pac-Man" may also function as an effective treatment for the deadly degenerative dementia by neutralizing the amyloid proteins associated with its onset. According to Rebecca Wood, chief executive of the Alzheimer's Research Trust, the enzyme works by "gobbling up" said proteins in much the same way as Pac-Man gobbled up fruit and ghosts in his eponymous arcade debut.

However, when asked if videogames were at all relevant to the breakthrough in something other than the most superficial way imaginable, Wood responded: "No, it's just a name. But don't let that stop you talking about it on your internet blogs. I know how desperate you people are for content."

Pac-Man copyright holders Namco-Bandai have yet to announce when they're going to sue the Mayo Clinic out of existence, though sources close to the company expect it will be within the coming month.

(Thanks, Joystiq!)